I have had several conversations on the topic of judging people’s actions and want to make several comments about judging others.

I have always been a person who is open to many types of people – never making judgments about others; after all, each of us is different.

What may work for one person is not necessarily good for another. In fact no one really knows what is going on inside another persons closed doors.

I find that friends tend to judge their friends harshly, often judging how they would react to a similar situation. It simply is not fair to judge others. If you do, you might lose the friendships you have had. Friends have a need to talk about their private lives. If they feel judged, they are threatened and know that if they come back to talk about the subject again, they will be rejected.

Often times a person in a relationship may have had an intimate chance encounter with a former lover, ex, and tell a friend about it. Of course there are consequences to each of our actions, but that is for the person involved to expect and experience. When a friend shares a comment about something in their private lives, they want to know that the person they talk to is a safe place free from judgment. Many friendships have been lost, because the receiver of the information has flat out stated that their actions were wrong. Better instead, is to be a good listener, perhaps say I understand how you feel, you may indicate the consequences of their actions, but that is where it should stop. Be an ear, be supportive, not judgmental.

After all, you are a friend, not their judge.